Wow, five months...  new record.  I really should just shut this down...  I don't even read my daily subscriptions anymore...

So why now?  Cause I got mad at the TV today.  Funny.  Since Rosie O'Donnel started on the View, I started watching.  I'm not a big fan; I like her acting, I like her charitable heart, etc...  But most of what comes out of her mouth - when she's not trying to be funny (she can be really funny) - is a 'know it all' bitter attitude about the world...  Very sad really.  However, like a moth to the flame, I want to hear what the 'world' 's opinion is at the moment and why not the loudest mouth out there?

Today, Elizabeth lost it.  Two days ago, Rosie degraded her by generally implying that because E likes a particular news network, she does not support Rosie.  I think E went at it wrong - personally, I'd have told her to take a hike with the first comment about what I like and don't like.  If you don't like what people have to say about you, don't become famous, Rosie, duh.  Neither one of them wanted to listen to the other.  Rosie was TOTALLY OFFENSIVE AND ATTACKED E two days ago.  E handled it ok, but instead of getting mad she should have laughed at Roe and told her to get over it; if it wasn't what she meant, then it wasn't what she meant.  Instead, E tried to deflect the unwanted attention and 'gave' Roe the opp to explain what she meant when she said what she said.  This doesn't work either because it's Roe's issue, not E's.  Roe feels like what ever she says will be used against her (again, if you don't like the fire, get out of the frying pan, duh).  And E, who was completely offended by what Rosie said - if you can't hear her word's Roe, take a hard stare at the look on her face, - wasn't going to give an inch.

Flash forward two days and Roe has let it fester and puss up and she looks like a whipped puppy up on that stage.  Her look says, "I'm right but no one else believes me and it doesn't matter b/c I'm right but it does matter because I'm being wronged by these people who don't understand I'm right" (God bless Kelly for putting up with her all these years).  So Joy fans the flame, E takes the bait, and Roe jumps (and I do mean if words could knock your head off, E would be right there with Marie Antoinette and wives of Henry the Eighth).  Roe's name calling was highly inappropriate!  (By the way, Roe's mother in law was in town this week, along w/ lots of Kelly's family for Kelly's birthday - I don't know about Roe, but having my in-laws (whom I adore) living at my place for a week would make me lash out in inappropriate ways as well.) One more aside - Barbara was not there today.  Rosie didn't do it yesterday when she was; she waited until today and again, that was a cheap shot.  Real cheap.  Do it with your boss there.  Do it with your authority sitting at that desk.  Don't wait till mama's away and then grab your sister by the hair and give her a swirly.

I don't think E handled it well either, but for crying out loud, she's preggers, she's on national TV, live I might add, and she's being attacked.  I wouldn't have handled it well.  People, pray for E.  I'm truly glad Roe is leaving.  I'm sick of hearing about impeaching Bush.  I'm sick of hearing about impeaching Bush.  Oh, wait, did I mention I'm sick of hearing about impeaching Bush...  I'm guessing, E is tired of hearing about it too.  Joy on the band wagon was not a help, but if E would have just let Joy talk and then given feedback... well, hard to tell, but the cross talk just enticed Roe to take her cheap shots and the nuclear fall out is yet to be seen...  Wonder how Barbara is sleeping tonight?

Sorry, I'm ranting about absolutely nothing...  thanks for reading my blog, though...

Jinx out, blog on...

Currently Reading The Children of Men By P.D. James see related

{About the book: I read this book about a month before I left for DTS (Nov-Dec 1998) and even then it was a couple years old (1994?).  It struck me then, the concept of worldwide infertility and I enjoyed it.  Picking it up again, now, in the midst of our own infertility dance, I found more focus on the results of the loss of children and the ability to leave something beyond our self - post 9/11 I would guess.  ANYWAY, don't cheat - see the movie but read the book, too!!!  I think the movie starts tomorrow (1-25-07)}

I've come to realize a few things over the last two months...

Baby's/children will always come first.  I heard friends/family say this but it's true on levels I have not the skill or the time to describe here.  Not having a computer all those months really didn't matter.  I still don't have time to come here and type out my drivel...  my self important words of comfort that tell me I have a voice and that it matters...  (I'm not trashing Xanga or it's users, b/c it's nice to get news that's pure, raw and from the source, ya know...) What I'm saying is, Izzy is coming first and that's ok.  It won't last; she'll out grow me in a vertible blink but for now, it's the priority.

Second, I'm not done lamenting my losses over 2006.  Michael Martin's funeral was a bittersweet way to bury my time at Fellowship.  The pain of losing him mirrored every other pain I now associate with leaving Fellowship.  It is an unnatural feeling to be gone, be away, and still live, work, shop within steps of that precious "memory".  I hate it and it effects everything.  My heart burns for reconcilation but I'm waiting for God's timing.  So, I stay away, dear Xanga friends, finding it a small burden of love to know that some of you still leave your foot prints on this web page and in my heart.  And I embrace days like yesterday, where I can have a pleasant lunch with my beloved Harold and my beautiful daughter and heartwarming friends like Jason Bucey... where I can drive into the parking lot at work and stare out my window and only vaguely notice that it's Tuesday and I have no idea why the parking lot at Fellowship is half full...  where I can pick up my mail and not cry that my Fellowship W-2 sits a top a short stack of ads and junk mail...

Paul said it best: '...making himself nothing, taking the very nature of servant..." Phil 2:7 (about Jesus); let me embrace his ways and remember winter is but a season... 

I'm Back!!!!!

Hey - It's finally here!  That day when I can say - I'm Back!!!!   We ordered a tower about two weeks ago and I finally got some attic time, got us hook up and on line...  Wow, talk about procrastination!  Anyway, Patrick and Jess come home today so I know I won't be able to get back on here till AFTER the holiday but I'm thrilled none the less...  It's been quite an exile.  I don't know how to act.  What to look at first?  Well, anyway, I promise to start boring you all once again with my movie reviews, policital soapboxes and general meanderings soon.  For now, this is enough...

Oh, and did I mention how jealous I am that Mikey Lee, the Bonsell boys, Adam and the rest of the God Squad are going on a cruise next month???  (I like having Adam around to keep me a bit connected to the last of my One80 days...)  I just want to go because I think they are sooooo cool... 

Must get to cracking on all those subscriptions I haven't read for months...

Jinx out... Blog on...

Currently Reading A Rose for the Crown: A Novel By Anne Easter Smith see related

It is sad to me that another month has passed and we have not taken the time to order a new computer... 

I am only writing today in response to Patrick's girl, Jess, who wrote a while ago about reading Elizabeth Elliott's These Strange Ashes...  Spiritually, I'm still not where I need to be but just getting out my old outreach journal from my YWAM days spurred me on today.  SO!  Here's my monthly contribution to the xanga cause...  My love to all - Jinx out, blog on...

June 7, 1999 - written on La Digue, Seychelles (aspureasitgets.com)

These strange ashes are beauty to my soul  Her hand with pen of wisdom marks a beginning from the old.

Only God could know and understand that quill of mercy in her hand  Or that I would know ashes of my own as I walked outreach shores alone.

Tell me how else would I have learned, except by her lines, deliverance  Or how to wait for post or ports that know no rhyme or cadence?

Would I have expected more than the light of feather beds  Not been prepared to walk a day and sleep the ground instead.

But most of all, would I have prayed (Oh Lord, hear our prayer)  Or woke my flesh a thousand times to lifeless mimes and stares.

No, it takes a woman of women to march out a tune before  And yes, bless Him, that's what she did that I'd know well this is war;

A war I'd fight upon my knees when all my time seemed but wasted  And so watch new beauty rise up again from these my strangest of ashes...

Currently Reading Duchess: A Novel of Sarah Churchill By Susan Holloway Scott see related

Computer woes...  Word to the motherboard...  Our motherboard is dead...  So, we need to break down and purchase a new tower-thingy (I'm so computer savy) and then we can get hooked back up at home...  Right now I'm at work and just have a few moments to tell all my xanga world friends that I miss you and I can't wait to get back into the xanga groove (There are some 20 daily e-mails sitting in my e-mail I can't get to right now!!!)...

Jinx out, blog on...